Tuesday, December 30, 2008

More jokes


Mulla was told that he would lose his phone if he didn’t retract what he had said to the general manager of the phone company in the course of conversation over the wire. “Very well, Mulla Nasrudin will apologize,” he said.

He called main 7777.
“Is that you Mr. Doolittle?”
“It is.”
“This is Mulla Nasrudin.”
“Well?”
“This morning in the heat of discussion I told you to go to hell!”
“Yes?”
“WELL,” said Nasrudin,”DON’T GO !”
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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your license and registration?
Driver: I don't have them. It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license and registration?
Driver: Sure. Here they are.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there's a body in it.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: HA! Oh boy, that's a good one. I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too!

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Two doctors are in the hallway complaining about nurse Nancy.
''She's out of control!'' the first doctor says. ''She does everything backwards. Just last week I told her to give a man two milligrams of morphine every ten hours, she gave him 10 milligrams every two hours, he alomost died!''
''That's nothing,'' said the second doctor, “earlier this week I told her to give a man an enema every 24 hours, she tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour!''
All of a sudden they heard a blood curldling scream from down the hallway.
''OH MY GOD! I just realized that I told nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smiths boil!'''

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